


Battler's Chemistry Teacher

by TheRealRina



Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkwardness, Blackmail, But hey it's an au, Coffee Shops, Crack Treated Seriously, Detention, Dorks, M/M, Modern Era, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slight OOC, Teacher-Student Relationship, Tsundere Battler, Tutoring, fujioshi Ange
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:37:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3830665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealRina/pseuds/TheRealRina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Detention is pain. Especially if it's with this creepy-ass Mr. Ronove.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Is Mr. Ronove So Rich, Anyways?

**Author's Note:**

> Aha yeah... so this happened.. I'll probably write up a few more chapters while my brain is still motivated enough to do things. Let me know what you guys think!

"Battler, back to work!"

Ugh. Nag, nag, nag. Ushiromiya Battler sat in the dreary classroom for Chemistry. He didn't want to be there, but he couldn't afford to skip detention again with the threat of Mr. Ronove phoning Battlers' parents home.

He wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Beatrice! Her and her group of mindless zombies (what he christened the sisters of hell) wouldn't  _shut up_ while he was doing his experiment, and as a result he grabbed the wrong beaker. Which caused an explosion.

Battler could still smell burnt plastic and acidic chemicals one hour later.

The newly imprisoned teen discreetly pulled out a red phone and began texting Beatrice.

_To Pafu-Pafu:_

_You owe me. Now I'm stuck doing these dumb equations with this creepy teacher._

Honestly, Battler would rather have to deal with Ms. Gaap's obnoxious gossip for an hour than have to sit an empty room with  _this_ guy. Mr. Ronove didn't even have to do much to be on Battler's 'Avoid At All Costs' list. It was just that this particular teacher seemed to have this menacing I-might-look-nice-but-if-you-look-at-me-wrong-I-might-kill-you-in-your-sleep aura about him. And the monocle didn't help much either.

 _Buzz, buzz!_ Battler slipped his phone out from under the textbook to open his messages.

_To Worthless Human:_

_I don't owe you anything, but if you come to Shannon's party tonight I'll try to make it up to you~!_

No way. Now he  _definitely_ had to go! With nimble fingers, Battler eagerly replied.

_To Pafu-Pafu:_

_Are you offering yourself up? Given in to my amazing charm? c;_

_To Worthless Human:_

_As if! I was GOING to help you with that crush of yours, but now I'm not so sure. If you're one second later than 10 I'll make sure George is the one to drive her home!_

_To Pafu-Pafu:_

_Wait no, I'll do what you want! Just helppppll,m_

And Battler would've pressed sent if it weren't for the screen slipping right from under him. He looked up slowly, terrified that Mr. Ronove's disapproving glare would freeze him to the seat. No such luck (was that a good thing or a bad thing?) seeing as Mr. Ronove took it upon himself to start reading what was on the screen.

"Battler.. are your parents really okay with you staying out past 10?"

.. Is that what he was going to scold him about? Battler scratched at his nose nervously. He'd been really looking forward to this party in particular, and he'd do whatever it takes to go. He didn't like begging but...

"Please don't tell Kyrie, she'll freak! I- I'll do extra work or- something, just, just don't!" Battler reached for his phone but to no avail, seeing as Mr. Ronove was holding it high above his head and out of the student's grasp.

"Texting in detention, sneaking out at night.. I don't know, Battler.." Mr. Ronove turned and scrolled through some of the messages. "And what's this about a creepy teacher?"

To that, Battler froze. Before he could start making excuses, Mr. Ronove _chuckled_ and continued. "Believe it or not, I used to be a teenager, too. So I understand, to an extent. I'll be generous here and only make you do the next chapter's vocabulary."

"Only?!" The teacher gave Battler a look. Battler shrunk under his gaze but refused to break the eye contact. "Fine. Deal?"

"Deal!" Mr. Ronove stuck his glove-clad hand out expectantly, and without really thinking about it, Battler shook it.

* * *

Thinking back on it, Battler thought he shouldn't have accepted the deal so easily. At first, the red-head thought he got off rather easy, but then he examined his papers more closely and belatedly realized these were due _the next day_. As a result, Battler wasn't even able to go to the party because George refused to do his work for him in favor of making sure no creeps hit on Shannon there. The only motivation he had for doing the work was not being under house arrest if his parents found out.

He arrived to school with even messier hair (Battler liked to call it a style) and dark smudges under his eyes, but at least the work was done. Needless to say, Battler behaved more appropriately in Mr. Ronove's class from then on; much to Beatrice's amusement.

* * *

But of course, it takes several tries before something sticks in Battler's head. This time, Battler was caught trying to look under Mammon's skirt (to his defense, the skirt was practically nonexistent. It's not like he had to make much effort, anyways) and was hit square in the face with a heavy textbook. Now, Battler wasn't going to take that. No, instead he retaliated by turning the built-in sink at the table on and flicking water towards the sister of hell.

It was at that exact moment when Mr. Ronove decided to look up.

Battler cursed his luck. Maybe he should ask to be changed to a different Chemistry class. Perhaps to Dr. Nanjo's class; he didn't seem too bad. At least then, he wouldn't have to spend an hour and a half with this creeper of a teacher.

Battler didn't get it. How come everyone seemed to get along so great with Mr. Ronove? Were they all that gullible? Battler saw right through it all, he did!

He just didn't have the determination on revealing it to the school. He probably _could_ get Mr. Ronove fired buuuut... then he'd have to deal with the flock of girls attacking him for it and he didn't feel like it was worth it.

Still, Battler heavily considered his options as he was sitting there once again.

Seeing as he was seriously formulating a plan in his head, he didn't notice when Mr. Ronove snuck up behind him. A gloved hand attached itself to Battler's right shoulder; not digging in but still with the threat of _something_. "Battler, my dear. Will you not complete the assignment?"

Battler chafed at the nickname, but didn't complain for the fear of further angering his teacher. Stiffly, he replied, "No, I'll do it."

At that, Mr. Ronove moved to where Battler could see him now (thank god) and sat in the seat across from him (wait, was that any better?). Battler shook his head slightly and moved his gaze back down to the paper. Ah, he remembered this... slightly. All these numbers and rules, they didn't stay in his head for too long. Battler hoped Mr. Ronove would lose interest quickly so he didn't have to pretend to be so focused. To his dismay, he only seemed to get more comfortable in the seat. With a flourish, he directed his voice towards Battler.

"Let's see it, then."

Oh no. Was he being serious? A glance back up to the brunette revealed that yes, he was very serious.

With a shaky laugh, Battler's only response was a muttered, "Well you see..."

Mr. Ronove gave him another look. "May I borrow your pencil, Battler dear?"

Again with the 'dear'. Geez, if the teacher insisted on keeping that up, Battler was going to storm out of there. It's not like he could sock him; he was a teacher... and besides, his face wouldn't look as nice with huge bruises on it.

....

Whoa. _What?_ Where did he get _that_ idea from? Mr. Ronove was _not_ pretty. Ah well, pretty wouldn't even be the right word. Something along the lines of 'elegant' or 'sophisticated' would work. But wait, why was Battler even thinking about his appearance? Mr. Ronove was.. his teacher. That was so not ok. Still. He wasn't that bad to look at. Not that Battler looked at him often. Ok, that was a lie; he looked at him often, but he was a _teacher_ , center of attention during most of the class time. So why was Battler getting so flustere-

"Have you forgotten how to speak in English? _Ahora debo que hablar Espanol?_ "

Battler blinked. "No, no, don't do that. Uh, sorry," The now-timid student handed his pencil over and immediately looked back at the worksheet. Ronove actually _laughed_ this time. Not his small, contained chuckles. It was.. surprisingly less evil than how Battler imagined it.

"I see you're doing well in Spanish class?"

"Well, anyone could figure that question out, really... It's nothing special.." Why was Battler so shy now? He mentally kicked himself.

Mr. Ronove hummed, sounding slightly amused. Then, he leaned over and began writing on Battler's worksheet. Upside down.

Battler looked at the things being scribbled out before him, but he wasn't really processing anything. Instead, his mind wandered to other things. Like, how come Mr. Ronove was wasting his time teaching _here_? Battler mused if he was perhaps a part-time professor at some top-notch university or something like that. He'd made it into a game a long time ago; to pass the time when he was bored in class. Sometimes he'd imagine Mr. Ronove to be a philosopher, or a writer in his spare time.

 _He's got to have another job if he can afford clothes like that,_ Battler thought as he stared at white gloves moving gracefully before him. _He probably gets them tailored, too._

All of a sudden, the scritching on the paper stopped, only to be replaced with quiet chuckles. "My, Battler. I do not believe you've made me laugh this much in one sitting."

Huh? Did he-? Oh. He did. He'd said that aloud. Well. Time to use his good ol' technique that never ever failed him.

Change the subject.

"You call that laughing? With all due respect sir, I think you need to get out a little more," Battler quipped.

 "Mn. Do I?" The teacher drawled.

"Yes."

"Would you mind showing me how to 'get out'?" Finger quotes in the air and everything.

Wait. Mr. Ronove was asking _him_ for help?

"Of course!"

"Fantastic! So it's a date?"

Battler spluttered. Before he could answer, Mr. Ronove went on. "When and where do we 'get out'?"

Honestly, Battler didn't know what he would've done if it weren't for his amazing brain coming up with lightning-fast, witty responses. Because if it weren't for that, Battler might've stood there all day stuttering and sweating profusely. Luckily, he replied with, "Right here, right now, like this!" And with that, Battler zipped out of that cursed classroom, toppling over his chair and leaving papers flying in the air.

Of course later on, he remembered that he actually needed those papers, and so he made the trek back up the stairs and rushed in to grab them.

Mr. Ronove only barely noticed because he was too busy trying not to laugh too hard.

He succeeded, for the most part.

It was still loud enough for Battler to hear all the way across the room, though.


	2. Kanon is a Lucky Bastard

It wasn't until weeks after that Battler even began to seriously consider his options. So far, he'd been avoiding Mr. Ronove at all costs; going so far as to take the long way around to his English class just so he wouldn't have to pass by the Chemistry class and chance having to say hi to the teacher. When Mr. Ronove directed his questions at Battler, the latter answered but avoided the former's gaze. Beatrice had laughed to see the arrogant Battler get knocked down a few notches.

Now, the teen sat in the cold, uncomfortable seat of Mr. Ronove's class. Battler warily watched him from under a fiery fringe. Class had been pretty normal after that incident, so maybe the whole thing was finally blowing over. Maybe now Battler didn't have to worry so much anymore. Other than the usual jabs from the teacher, he was acting as if nothing had happened.

And well... perhaps nothing  _really_ happened. It was just a joke, nothing more. Battler was just blowing things out of proportion.

So then, why did feel slightly disappointed?

**Riiiiiiiing!**

Oh, seems like it was time for lunch now. Battler's gut seemed to growl in agreement. Of course, Mr. Ronove just happened to be nearby and hear it.

Battler was far from mortified, but he hesitated to look up nonetheless. Ah, but he had to if he wanted to get out of the class.

What god did he piss off to have this happen to him? Luckily, Mr. Ronove only smiled behind a dainty hand, seemingly trying to hold in laughter. The sight unwillingly made Battler smile in return. This time, he actually gave a small two-fingered salute and farewell, to which the teacher smiled wider and nodded his goodbye.

Unknowingly, Beatrice had been looking at the exchange with furrowed brows.

As Battler walked through the hallways, the blonde sidled up to him. "So are you two the best-est of friends now?"

On the other side, Mammon came up and animatedly waved her hands around. "Yeah, what was up with that?"

 Ah, so they'd seen that? It's not like anything was a secret, but Battler was still reluctant to share any information. A pause, and then a shake of the head.

"Hn. Well, it's not like it matters much. Anyway, let's hurry and get to lunch before Beelzebub eats everything!" Mammon sauntered off, leaving the other two behind. Beatrice just directed a smile towards Battler that seemed to say, _this girl_ , and followed Mammon to the cafeteria.

 

"Would you like to taste your food, too?" George waved his water bottle towards Battler, who was currently shoveling lasagna into his mouth. Battler only made a noncommittal noise and continued devouring the rest of his meal. Jessica rolled her eyes before she turned her attention back to Kanon. The solemn teen continued his re-telling of a seemingly dangerous tale, completely unperturbed by Battler's barbaric behavior. It wasn't often that Kanon would grace the table with his magnificent stories, so everyone paid close attention. Battler stopped enough to reflect back on how Kanon had grown in the short few months since they'd taken (forced) him into the group, and smiled behind his napkin.

 _He used to be so shy_ , the red-head thought. Given, Kanon still didn't talk much, but girls had now (mis)interpreted that as him being all cool and mysterious. Currently, Satan had her arm wrapped around Kanons' shoulders as Jessica gave a rather indiscreet glare towards the sister of hell. Battler thought he was a lucky bastard.

"Ah, I think I forgot my notebook at the library..." Kanon started to disentangle himself from the grip of both Satan and a newly emerged Beelzebub but was forced back down onto the bench with a solid _plonk_!

"Noooooo, you're not done with your story yet!" Beelzebub whined, then looked over at Battler with big doe eyes. "Battler, you know what it looks like, can't you go get it yourself?"

"Uh-"

"No really, it won't take that long. If I could just..." Kanon continued struggling, but soon discovered that the girls were exceedingly stronger than they looked. Battler noticed the sharp nails digging into Kanon's forearm and gave him a sad, understanding look.

"It's fine, Kanon. It's the purple one right?" Battler only waited for a short nod and was off, not bothering to throw the rest of his food way knowing that Beelzebub would take care of it.

 

The library was far too big in Battler's opinion. It was it's own building, with towering bookshelves and long corridors. The multi-colored spines of books seemed never-ending. The teen couldn't understand how anyone could ever find anything in this supposedly organized maze. Battler was glad he only had to look for a notebook and not a specific book. There were a couple of tables towards the back of the library, so Battler headed back there while weaving through the multiple bookshelves.

Oddly enough, there was only a few students casually reading books at the tables, some with a mess of highlighted papers and sticky notes spread around them. Alas, there was no sight of the notebook. Battler dimly wondered if it could be buried under other students' notes and was about to go ask, but stopped in time to see Mr. Ronove slightly leaning over a chair as he conversed with one of the students.

Was this really happening? Out of all the times he could choose to be in here, he had to choose today? Battler cursed and stayed behind a bookshelf, pretending to be browsing as he pulled a book out and discreetly peered through the new gap. _Hurry up and go away_ , he mumbled under his breath. He warily watched the exchange between student and teacher, looking for signs of discomfort so he could jump in and save the student. She was a small one, with a messy bun and round glasses. She smiled demurely at what Mr. Ronove was saying; nodded minutely with the apples of her cheeks beginning to color. The teacher seemed to be wrapping up their conversation and then went on to another student.

Just what was he doing? Battler huffed. Why did all the girls fawn all over him? He didn't understand. He shook his head and was about to just go and tell Kanon he couldn't find the damned thing when he saw a flash of purple in the corner of his eyes. He quickly turned back to the gap and saw Mr. Ronove waving around the notebook.

Battler held in the urge to scream in frustration, compensated with shoving the book back in its place and pulling painfully at red locks. A student that was browsing further down the corridor directed a questioning gaze towards the panicked teen. Battler smiled sheepishly in return before puffing out his chest and walking out from behind his cover.

As expected, Mr. Ronove noticed the rather loud entrance but nonetheless smiled pleasantly and gave a small wave. Battlers' brows remained furrowed as he stomped over to the brunette. In a voice pushing the limits of what was considered library-acceptable, he began, "Why do you have that?"

Mr. Ronove blinked at turned his gaze to what Battler was so menacingly pointing at, then seemed to understand and smiled once more. "Ah this? I saw this discarded on the floor and thought it too wasteful to leave, so I started asking students if it was theirs. Alas, there seems to be no name anywhere in here. Shame, the notes in here are especially organized," Mr. Ronove patted the cover appreciatively.

"Give it to me," Battler demanded.

"Oh, this is yours? I must say, you did a great job... but it would better if you paid this much attention in my class!" Mr. Ronove started to chuckle but was cut off.

"It's my friend's, I was just asked to find it. Now, could you please hand it over?" Battler stuck his hand out.

Mr. Ronove blinked once more, then grinned toothily. "Only because you said please."

Once Battler accomplished his task, he nodded his thanks and was about to set off when he was stopped by a gloved hand on his bicep. His eyes travelled up the offending arm to find his teacher's perpetually smiling face. Before he could shake the appendage off, Mr. Ronove moved away on his own. Battler told himself the attention was unwanted. Definitely unwanted. Yup.

"My apologies, I'm sure you have somewhere more important to be," _Damn right he does_ " but I just wanted to advise you to learn the ways of your friend there," He nodded at the notebook in Battler's grip. "They seem to really have it together, apart from not putting their name anywhere on it."

Battler gave a half-hearted glare.

"Now, now, I'm only speaking factually," he put his hands up in mock-surrender. "Your grades have been slipping and if you keep this up, I'll have no choice but to put you in mandatory tutoring."

Please, no. Anything but that.

"Maybe you can ask this person for help. It'd be in your best interest, unless you prefer spending your time back in my classroom."

 **No**.

Battler laughed a tittering, nervous thing. "Yeah, I'll make sure to do that, Mr. Ronove. Don't worry about it!" Battler convincingly assured the teacher.

"Good, good. Well, I bid you a happy rest of the day, dear Battler," The brunette bowed slightly and straightened to smile at his student.

Battler did _not_ feel his heart skip a beat; he simply rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Yeah ok, whatever," He was about to walk away (escape), but tacked on a, "You too," at the end and exited the goliath of a library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of an awkward end there, I know, but I tried. Awkward conversations and encounters are some of my favorite things to write, can you tell?


	3. How Does Battler Not Have a Concussion By Now?

"Gah! This is hopeless!" Battler threw his hands in the air and slumped back on the bed. This action caused some papers to fly up, which Kanon dutifully snatched up and returned them to their proper place on their makeshift desk composed of binders. Kanon looked down at Battler, who was currently despairing and not noticing how he seemed to keep sinking into the ravenette's mattress. Before Kanon could save him, a knock came at the door. The skinnier of the two glanced back down at the miserable teen before going to open the door. He was greeted by a tray of chilled tea and miniature sandwiches. Kanon peeked behind the tall glasses and was greeted by his sister's smiling face.

"Hey, I thought you guys could use some snacks but..." Shannon had walked in and set the tray on a bedside table, before observing what was left of Battler that hadn't been devoured by Kanons' sheets. "Maybe I was too late..."

The brother blew black strands out of his face and passively replied, "Yeah, he's a bit of a lost case."

A cry was heard from somewhere within Kanon's bed. "Hey, what did you say about me?! Don't talk like that to your senior! I know more than you!"

"Evidently not."

Battler groaned at the same time Shannon giggled. "I am so not smart enough for this," Battler emerged from his cave of gloom and doom to barrel towards Kanon. "Kanon, my dear friend! I have an idea! Why don't I just take pictures on my phone of the questions tomorrow and you tell me how to do them?"

Kanon looked down at where Battler had interlocked their fingers and glanced back up at the red-head with a cocked eyebrow. About to refuse, Shannon interjected with, "But Battler, that's cheating!" Kanon only gave Battler a look that seemed to agree. Battler shook their joined hands animatedly and hurriedly protested,

"Yeah, but no one has to know! You'd help me out, right? C'mon, don't leave me to fail like this!"

Kanon replied in a daze, trying to recover from being shaken so forcefully, "I don't know, Battler..."

"Jessica would be disappointed..."

"Hey, that's playing dirty!" Battler pointed to Shannon before returning his desperate gaze back to the male of the twins. " Don't listen to her, Jessica won't know," He side-eyed Shannon once more, " I'll make sure she doesn't find out!"

"I... are you threatening my sister?" Kanon asked indignantly.

Battler barked out a laugh in sheer hysteria. "No, no I would never do that! Your sister's too hot for that-"

Kanon readied a sharp pencil in his grasp. " I MEAN- she's a really beautiful young girl and I would never hurt girls like her, I just- Kanon please-"

Shannon held onto her brother by the waist and looked to Battler with an embarrassed, urgent look upon her face. "Quick, before you get hurt!" Battler needed no more encouragement. He rushed past the pair and out the door, not bothering to get his papers. They were just gibberish to him, anyways.

Outside, Battler shivered (and the night air was only partly at fault here).

* * *

Honestly, Battler expected much worse. When he'd been handed his test back, he expected to see a huge **F**. Instead, there was a 68 in red, which meant a D. _So close to a C_ , but Battler felt like he couldn't have really asked for more.

"Hey, hey, what'd you get?" Beatrice leaned over and once she'd seen the score, she proceeded to laugh.

Flustered, Battler snatched her paper to observe her results. A 95.

How even? Beatrice barely paid attention in class!

Granted, he didn't either, but that meant she should've gotten a low B at the most!

"This is such shit, you so cheated!"

Beatrice stuck her tongue out. "Have you ever considered that I'm just superior to you in every way?"

"Now, now, children. Can we continue the lesson?" Mr. Ronove intercepted.

"Teach, this is some bull right here! I _know_ I did better than this!" Battler waved his paper around angrily.

"If you wish to speak about your results, you know the procedure. Meet with me after class or during lunch and we can discuss the issue," the man adjusted his monocle and shuffled some papers around, with a ghost of a smile on his lips. The rest of the class laughed at Battler's misfortune, but the teacher snapped a sharp warning to the students. "I know some of you have also failed, so don't be hypocritical unless you want me to announce the failures," Then he simply went back to teaching pleasantly enough. That shut the class up for the remaining half hour.

* * *

The teen finished typing out his response to Ange while he waited outside his chemistry class.

_To Ojou-sama <3:_

_Yeah, ik but I'm sorry, I have to talk to this lame teacher about lame things. Go home without me. Tell Shannon I said hi tho!_

Battler pocketed his phone and was about to walk in when he heard people talking on the other side of the door. He hesitated. Would Battler be intruding? He shifted his weight from foot to foot as he considered his options.

"Oh my. Well, I thank you so much Mr. Ronove! Asmodeus isn't very bright, but with your help, she got an A on the test! We couldn't have done it without you!"

"Hey, I'm right here, y'know!"

A laugh.

"I only helped, Asmodeus here is the one who did all the work, miss..?"

"Oh, just call me Persephone, please."

"Persephone," Mr. Ronove seemed to roll the name on his tongue. Battler wanted nothing more than to run to the closest bathroom and puke his guts out, but he stayed if only because he wanted some blackmail material. He searched the hallway and when he was satisfied that no one was there to spy on him, he stood closer to the door and tried to covertly peek in. He could only see empty tables, so they must've been standing at Mr. Ronove's desk.

"Mother, c'mon, I promised I would meet with Mammon and you know how grumpy she gets!"

"Right, right. Oh, Ronove, can I call you that?"

"By all means."

"Ronove, I can't help but be curious... are you married? I can't tell with those gloves of yours."

.... What.

"Mother!"

"Ahahhhh, no it's a perfectly fair question. Um, no, I am not."

Asmodeus' mother must have had an expecting look on her face because after a brief pause, Mr. Ronove elaborated, "I had a fiancé, but complications arose and we decided to break it off. We're still good friends now."

Another pause.

"Oh my god, this is so dumb! I'm leaving!"

They've must've been closer to the door than Battler expected because before Battler could back away, he got a face-full of door. He stumbled backwards and hit the back of his noggin on the lockers behind him. The twin-tailed girl looked enraged when she noticed Battler standing there, but only bit out a curt, "I'll deal with you later!" and stormed off. A woman in beige heels click clacked her way out of the classroom, which Battler assumed to be Asmodeus' mother. She called out to her daughter and quickly followed, not even glancing towards Battler's way.

The red-headed teen now had a bleeding nose to match his hair. He knew this because he noticed the red drops on his white t-shirt seeping through. He attempted to right his self but then the world blurred and he fell forward.

 _Strange, I don't remember the floor being this soft_ , Battler dully thought. He clawed at the surface before him, tried to pull himself up but still felt utterly dizzy and gave up. Then, he felt vibrations push against his face.

In the back of his mind he registered a laugh made deeper through close proximity. The injured teen managed to look up and came face-to-face with warm, smiling, azure eyes. He stared for a few seconds -seemingly entranced- and only more of Mr. Ronove's laughter brought Battler back to Earth. "Battler, you don't have to throw yourself at me to get me to notice you..." He trailed off as he examined his student's face. "My goodness, Battler, you're bleeding!"

"Yeah, I know," Battler slurred.

The teacher looked warily at the students emerging from their classrooms to observe the ruckus, then back to Battler's pitiful face. "Look, let's just get inside before I get accused for beating a student up," He wrapped an arm around Battler's waist and encouraged him inside. If Battler was in a clearer state of mind, he would've loudly objected to this. His injured mind only gladly accepted the help as he leaned heavily on Mr. Ronove.

Battler walked to the closest surface, which just happened to be Mr. Ronove's desk, and sat upon it. The brunette grimaced but said nothing as he pulled a handkerchief out and dabbed under Battler's nose. The teen vaguely acknowledged Mr. Ronove wiping at his lips and chin, made a pleased noise at the back of his throat. "Thanks," He nodded at Mr. Ronove but soon regretted it because it only agitated what was the beginning of a migraine.

"I assume you came to talk about your test grade, but I doubt that's going to be a possibility now. Sadly, this is what happens when you eavesdrop, Battler," Mr. Ronove waggled his finger towards the teen. Battlers' eyes widened but refused to meet Mr. Ronove's knowing gaze.

"Y-you knew?"

"You're not as sneaky as you think you are," Mr. Ronove pulled out a sleek phone and fiddled with it for a few seconds before continuing, "Do you want to call your parents and see if they can come pick you up?"

"Hm? No, no," Battler waved the offered phone off. "They're both at work right now, I don't want to bother them."

Mr. Ronove hummed thoughtfully. "Do you have any friends to walk with you?"

"I told them to go on without me, y'know, 'cause I was going to talk to you..."

"Hmmm... this is troublesome. I don't want you going home alone like that," Mr. Ronove directed a hand flourish towards Battler.

"Pfffft, don't worry yourself, Teach, I got this. Watch," He stood up shakily and began walking towards the door, but smacked his face into the wall next to the door instead. "Ahhh... Hahah that was a joke. I was joking. Funny, right?" Battler turned and grinned, bloody once more.

Mr. Ronove pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No, no, no, that won't do. Where do you live?"

Battler rattled off his address and watched Mr. Ronove stuff papers and manila folders into a black satchel behind glassy eyes. It wasn't until he was being pulled out into the hallway (by hand, Battler chafed but didn't pull away) that he processed what was happening. It should've been worrying that Battler was willingly going along with this, but he couldn't really come up with any good enough protests. Quietly, he mumbled something about if Mr. Ronove was even allowed to do this sort of thing, to which he laughed and made a shushing motion with his hands. Said something about keeping it a secret just this once.

Battler was ok with it as long as he didn't have to walk home; he didn't feel like he could even walk straight without any support.

 

"Wow, this is your car? Are you sure you don't work part-time as a lawyer or something?" Battler whislted appreciatively at the sleek, black car in front of him.

Mr. Ronove chuckled as he opened the door for Battler. "I'm sure," he went around to the other side and slid in.

"You're not secretly some big gang boss, then?"

 "I assure you, I am not."

"If you say so, oyabun."

Mr. Ronove reached in his pockets and pulled out a piece of candy, then proceeded to throw it at Battler with one hand while he kept the other on the steering wheel. "Stop that, you're going to get me in trouble!"

"Ow! What'd you hit me with? Is this... a chocolate?"

"You are correct," Mr. Ronove glanced over and smiled politely at the other.

"Uh, thanks. There's no one here to hear us, though," Here, Battler stopped to pop the chocolate in his mouth and then continued, albiet slightly muffled, "so what does it matter?"

Mr. Ronove sighed and tried not to show his amusement, but the half-grin on his face gave it away. "You are going to be the reason I get fired," he stopped to ask if he should take a left or a right here, to which Battler answered distractedly.

"Yeah but, honestly you could just start a host club or something and you'd never have to worry about money again," Battler laughed at his teacher's confused face before explaining, "Don't think I didn't see what you and 'Persephone' did," he spoke in a mockingly sweet tone.

Mr. Ronove only laughed (this time it was one of those open-mouthed laughs and Battler was glad to see it). "Oh my, no I have no idea what you're talking about. I can't imagine that many people would pay to simply converse with me."

Battler noted he said 'people' and not 'girls' and stored that information in the back of his mind.

"Riiiight. Because you totally aren't seducing everyone in the school to have them always take your side," the student rolled his eyes.

"Is that what you think I've been doing?" The question almost seemed genuine.

"You can't fool me, you evil mastermind, you! I'm going to expose you someday!" Battler waved a finger in front of the driver's face. Said driver focused hard on not crashing. They seemed to have finally arrived at Battler's house, and so Mr. Ronove pulled into the driveway. He turned in his seat to smile evilly at his student.

"Oh, you will, will you?"

Slightly hesitant, the red-head stood his ground and replied confidently, "Yes, I will! And then everyone will know how you tricked them and then they'll love me and not you!" He stuck his tongue out.

"We can't have that, now can we?" Mr. Ronove menacingly rhetorted and reached out towards Battler. The latter panicked and squeezed his eyes shut, cursing himself for angering his teacher when all he had done was be nice to him.

However, instead of the blow he was bracing for, Battler felt cool fingertips brush down his lips and chin. Before he could stop himself, he shivered and let out a surprised puff of air.

He opened his eyes to see Mr. Ronove grinning mischeviously, glove stuck in between sharp canines.

"You still had some dried blood left on you," he explained.

"R-right..." Battler was sure he shone like a candle in this dark car, seeing as his completely flushed face matched his fiery locks. "W-well, see you tomorrow Mr. Ronove," and without preamble, Battler bolted from the car and ran into his beloved home.

 

He peered out the window to see the car pull out and drive away, then slid down the door and curled up into a ball.

"Bro? What are you doing? I was getting worried, y'know. You weren't answering any of my texts and it's pretty late. I thought maybe you had gone to another party. That's not ok, you know that, right? Hey, look at me- woah," Ange had stooped down to Battler's position and though at first had a scowl, worry now painted her features. "Hey, why is your face all red? Are you sick? That's what you get for staying out so late. Now I'm gonna have to make you some soup, so hurry and stand up," she kicked her brother lightly, barely a nudge, really, and made her way into the kitchen.

Battler meanwhile, traced his own lips as he replayed the event over and over in his mind. He eventually got up and followed Ange.

"Ange?"

"What is it?" She asked with a bored tone, but she worried her bottom lip as she faced away from her brother.

"Have you ever had a crush on someone older than you?"

"Well, yeah, I suppose so. Why, you aiming for some senior or something? Oh wait, you are a senior, I keep forgetting... Wait, you can't mean some student teacher or something, can you?"

"No, it's just... a hypothetical. I don't have a crush on anyone. At least, I'm pretty sure I don't..." Battler sat at the table and graciously accepted a bowl from Ange. She must've already been in the process of making some if it was done this fast.

"Ok, well... Are you asking what I would do if my crush was older? Because usually I'd go for it, but if it's the guy that's younger then that might be kinda weird."

Battler hummed.

"It's not necessarily bad or anything, just... Unusual. But hey, don't let me stop you from dating someone," Ange now sat across from Battler with her own bowl. She poked his spoon as if to say, 'Eat up already'.

Absently, Battler brought spoonfuls to his mouth but didn't really taste it.

Battler dreaded going to school tomorrow and considered ditching, but he couldn't really afford to with his grades being what they were. 

He banged his head on the table, to which Ange only patted his back reassuredly as she headed out towards her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What, two chapters in one day? Well technically it's already tomorrow so I guess it doesn't count, but... Yeah I'm as surprised as you are- Who knows, I might even feel like writing up another one! Let me know what you guys think!


	4. Deal!

Weeks passed by agonizingly slow. Battler never let it slip through his mask, but he found he was getting frustrated with the feelings in his heart. His mind rationally told him to just forget about the whole thing, Mr. Ronove was a _teacher_ for god's sake! Hell, Battler didn't even know he could be remotely attracted to men until Mr. Ronove popped up. He told himself it was just a phase, he was projecting romantic feelings onto Mr. Ronove for simply taking him back home, he was mistaking his teacher's kindness for affection, anything! Any excuse would work, really.

He didn't _want_ to be attracted to him. Battler would much prefer falling for a cute, respectable girl. There were plenty in his school, some even in his class.

He found he looked forward to attending chemistry just to see Mr. Ronove more than he looked forward to conversing with girls. Which had never happened before.

Battler was finding out loads of new things, like how he thought that while the sweet, innocent smiles of some particular lady friends made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, Mr. Ronove's smile literally shoved all coherent thought aside and made his heart leap to his throat. Nowadays, Battler could barely look at the man without feeling like he was melting.

The only good (?) thing that happened throughout these weeks were that Mr. Ronove didn't bring up the incident again. Whether if it was for the fear that he truly would lose his job, or something else, Battler didn't know. Maybe he was just being professional? Regardless, Battler was grateful; he didn't want to have to live through the embarrassment twice.

It was all going as normally as it usually does, but everyone's luck runs out at some point.

This point happened to occur when Battler made a visit to a nearby café, to spend some time (and money) with his sister. She had been complaining about wanting to go out, and Kyrie suggested going to get some coffee to combat the cold weather. Battler just couldn't leave her to fend for herself, not in these chilly conditions, so he offered to accompany her.

He regretted doing so when he saw the back of familiar, coiffed hair. His silent plea of, _please don't see me please don't see me,_ went unanswered as Ange flitted over to him and asked, "Hey, you read Miss Hachijo's works, too?!"

Battler stood by the café door with bated breath, hoping that Mr. Ronove would ignore her so he wouldn't have to go over and remove Ange himself. Obviously, that didn't happen. Mr. Ronove looked taken aback at first, but then smiled warmly as he put his novel down and nodded. "Yes, I find her tales to be quite intricate and amusing."

"I thought I'd never find someone else who appreciates such quality work!" Ange took a seat in front of the man and continued jovially, "Which is your favorite book by her?"

To which as Mr. Ronove opened his mouth to reply, the teenage girl seemed to realize herself and lightly frown. She had an image to keep up, after all. This didn't go unnoticed, and so Mr. Ronove quickly changed what he was going to say. "Is something the matter?" He politely inquired.

Ange shook her head slightly, small pigtails swishing a bit. "Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on your alone time. It's just nice to see some fellow fans. I must seem so weird," She laughed nervously. Then, she seemed to remember something and looked around the café. "Where's Battler...?"

"You can't mean Battler Ushiromiya, can you?"

"Yeah, you know him?" Ange confirmed as she twisted this way and that in her chair, growing more agitated when she saw Battler nowhere to be found.

"Yes, I'm his chemistry teacher. Are you related to him in some form?" Mr. Ronove peered over his cup.

Ange laughed. "Did the hair give it away?" Then, she spotted fiery spikes sticking out from behind the counter. She casually walked over and picked him up by the back of his collar, apologized to the staff, and brought him over to Mr. Ronove's table. Battler groaned.

"... I didn't know kids your age still played hide-and-seek," the teacher stared blankly at the pair, willing himself not to laugh.

Battler mumbled something under his breath as Ange patted his shoulder. "Yeah, sorry for weirding you out, but Mr. I'm-too-cool over here was probably just trying to escape," Here, Ange huffed and turned to Battler. "You know how much I adore Miss Hachijo, just let me have this conversation, ok?"

"Oh, it's perfectly fine, it's rare finding others with such good taste," Mr. Ronove winked.

"Right.. well I'm going to go get some coffee, like I intended in the first place. You'll have to put up with this student of yours for a few minutes," Ange patted Battler's head as she stood from her seat, leaving the two males behind.

Battler awkwardly stood to the side, not knowing what to say. He quickly slid into a seat when Mr. Ronove looked at him oddly; laughed to fill the silence but cringed when he heard how nervous he sounded.

Battler couldn't have been more embarrassed. In an attempt to make things less awkward, Battler began, "S-sorry, my sister isn't usually like this. She only gets hyped up about the things she's passionate about. I tried to stop her, but next thing I know she's gone over to you and had a whole conversation..."

"Sister, hm? The resemblance is uncanny. As I said, it's completely fine, I don't mind. I just... wasn't expecting it is all," Mr. Ronove somehow managed to look sheepish and elegant at the same time. Battler still doesn't know how he does it.

"You and me both," The teen leaned back in the chair, now finally taking note of the place that he wasn't trying to will himself out of existence. He observed that the café wasn't too crowded, nor deserted, and that calm music played overhead; most likely something indie. Ange brought over two cups, one smelling of cinnamon and the other a frothy, syrupy, sugary mess. Battler smiled gratefully at his sister and took his drink.

As Ange and Battler's teacher began discussing books, Battler tuned out and simply enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere. He almost forgot his panicked state earlier, but then he had to ruin it by getting whipped cream all over his nose and having his teacher try to wipe it away for him.

Battler got flashbacks and moved away abruptly, chair squeaking on the tiled floor. Ange only looked questioningly between the two of them, taking note of Battler's spreading blush and Mr. Ronove's regretful expression.

"Ah, forgive me if I pushed the boundaries, Battler. I'll refrain from doing the sort again," The brunette retracted his hand and cleared his throat.

"N-no, it's fine! I just- wasn't paying attention and I guess it scared me..."

"Pfffft, Battler you're such a wuss," Ange grinned after taking a sip of her drink.

"Hey shut up, I'm older than you!" Battler ruffled her hair, knowing fully well how she hated that. As expected, Ange tried to dig her claws into his head, and dirty fighting ensued. Where Ange scratched, Battler bit. Mr. Ronove indulged in watching in amusement for awhile, but then came to his responsible, adult-like senses and separated the two.

"Now, now, we're in public, children. Please don't tell me this is how you act at home."

"Nah, usually we're full-on wrestling by this time. We do know a little self-restraint, Mr...?" Ange flicked her brother in the nose for good measure, then turned towards the other.

"Ah, it seems I still haven't properly introduced myself, have I? I'm Mr. Ronove, pleased to make your acquaintance," he stuck a gloved hand out, to which Ange assertively shook.

"I'm Ange, Battler's sister. Maybe I'll get to take your class in the future!"

"I do hope you won't follow in your brother's footsteps and actually pass the class," Mr. Ronove gave a meaningful look to Battler.

To this, Ange loudly gasped. "You mean to say Battler lied and said he's passing? Oh my, Battler, can you imagine what Mom and Dad would say?" The sister put a hand to her rosy lips. "It'd be a shame if you couldn't go to Lucifer's party..."

Battler was speechless for a few seconds, seemingly trying to not pointedly glare at his teacher but failing, before turning to his sister and preparing his (ego-crushing) begging.

"Ange, please, I'll buy you that rare book by that Hachijo lady that you've wanted so much!"

Ange made a noncommittal noise as she looked at her nails. "That's all?"

 _That's all?!_ Battler barely had enough money to afford _that_ , what else could he offer? He looked to his teacher for help, but while Mr. Ronove had his eyebrows raised, he seemed content enough to watch. Battler growled. "And I'll do the dishes for a week."

Ange looked up, interest piqued but not giving in just yet. Battler sighed in frustration. "Fine, two weeks."

Now her eyes sparkled though she tried to keep her face neutral. She stuck a dainty hand out, and as Battler reached to take ahold of it, she pulled back abruptly. "Throw in some tutoring and you have yourself a deal."

The teenage boy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Why would you need tutoring, especially from someone like m- oh," Battler stopped once he noticed the look on his sister's face. "I'll get Mr. Ronove to tutor me," He corrected, glancing over at his teacher to find the brunette grinning slyly at him.

"Deal!"

Just what had he gotten himself into?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know this was kinda short but I'm on a roll!


	6. Can Battler Even Get Good Grades?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm alive. I recently finished the series, finally. I was worried I wouldn't like the ending, but I was surprisingly satisfied. However, even after finishing the series, my heart is set on shipping these two. Ronove is just so great :D So here I am, writing this again.

“Our midterm is coming up soon, so try to recall any parts you had trouble with.”

“Every part.”

Battler didn’t even realize it was that time of the year again. He’d screwed up big time. This test could make or break him and he hadn’t even been paying attention; instead he’d been staring intensely at Mr. Ronove while trying to figure out what was so good about him and hadn’t heard a single word coming from those silky smooth lips. Maybe it was a good idea to attend tutoring. Kanon could only help so much before getting frustrated with Battler’s incompetence.

Mr. Ronove had handed out study guides the day before but had stressed the importance of the word ‘guide’ and asked everyone to at least review old material as well.

Now Battler sat staring at the pages in front of him and saw his future leap from the text and walk out the door.

“Mn. Well as much as I’d like to keep you here and re-teach everything just for you-“

“Yeah I know, time restraints and all. I’m sorry, I should’ve paid more attention, so can we hurry? I need help with this,” Battler pointed at a section about predicting chemical equations with his pencil.

Mr. Ronove frowned slightly. “How rude. You’d do well to respect your teachers y’know.”

The red-head kept himself from smirking. So he could make other expressions as well. ~~Cute.~~ “Ah, sorry teach. I just don’t want to waste your time,” This time he couldn’t help the upward tug of his lips.

Mr. Ronove only sighed. “Of course. So it’s like this…” he picked up a marker and began writing on the whiteboard.

It was nearing the end of their first session, so the teacher asked Battler to do a problem on his own. It took a few minutes of staring the periodic table down along with some scritching on the side, but Battler finally stood up and confidently wrote out the rest of the equation on the board. He put the marker down and turned to Mr. Ronove with a wide grin.

To which Mr. Ronove started clapping. “Barely legible but it’s correct,” Battler stuck his tongue out to the side comment.

“It’s not English class, right?”

“I still need to be able to read it. Work on your handwriting and you might be able to pass the test.”

“You really think so?!” Battler could already see himself shoving his report card proudly into Beatrice’s face.

“Well, there’s still much to cover…”

He looked down at the packet and gulped at the thought of the multiple pages to go through. There was only a few days left until the big day.

“You have to help me out!” He leaned forward, desperately grabbing onto the taller’s forearms.

Mr. Ronove was taken aback. “That’s what I’m here for.” Then he glanced down at where Battler was _rudely_ wrinkling his white sleeves and arched a delicate eyebrow at him.

Battler seemed to notice his proximity and coughed, stepping back. However, he was quick to change back to his enthusiastic state. “Thanks Mr. Ronove! I’m gonna go home and study now!”

“I hope that isn’t code for going to parties,” he called out to Battler.

“It isn’t I promise!” And with that, Battler hastily collected his things and was out the door in a flash.

Mr. Ronove exhaled out an exasperated chuckle.

* * *

 And so the days went on like that, along with Battler asking for help from Kanon during lunch; Kanon was impressed with how much he’d improved, and the sisters of hell only became bored and (finally) left the two to their nerdy selves.

Testing day was here, and as much as Battler had crammed and practiced, he was positively shaking with nerves. As Mr. Ronove handed out the tests, he slipped a mint onto Battler’s desk. The student looked curiously at his teacher, but Mr. Ronove kept weaving around the desks and passing the papers out. It wasn’t until he sat back at his desk that he looked back at Battler, put a finger to his mouth and winked.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Battler remembered hearing something about mint waking you up and making you focus more.

He ducked down with a blush painting his face, trying hard not to smile.

Time ticked down, until Battler was the last one left to turn in his test. The bell rang as soon as he shot from his seat, exclaiming a breathless, “I’m done!” The rest of the class glanced at him curiously, but quickly filed out the room while Battler pushed against the crowd to get to Mr. Ronove’s desk.

He set it upon the pile of other tests, hesitant smile on his features.

“Good work, Battler,” Mr. Ronove praised him.

The other just scratched the back of his head and looked to the side. “It was all thanks to you after all…”

“So you can be grateful,” He laughed. “Get to class.”

“Sh-shut up! I just- um, when will you be done grading them?”

“I’ll be sure to grade yours first. I’ll let you know as soon as I’m done. Sound good?” Battler nodded demurely. “Now shoo, my next class is coming in,” Mr. Ronove smiled.

“Thanks teach!” Battler finally moved on, bumping into a student on the way out.

The brunette laughed, looking down at his desk to find the stack of new tests, only to see a slightly deformed Hershey’s Kiss on top Battler’s test. He picked it up. Must’ve been in his pocket for awhile. He distantly wondered if this was safe, but popped the chocolate into his mouth anyways and grinned.

* * *

 “Guys, guys! Look!” Battler burst into his house, waving around a paper. Ange glanced up from her book, while Kyrie and Rudolph popped their heads out from the kitchen. Rudolph was the first to go over, taking the paper and noticing the big 82 in red at the top.

“Huh, who woulda thought. You sure you didn’t cheat?” He playfully messed Battler’s hair up. Battler only scowled.

“Ey! No, I did it all myself! Well actually, if it wasn’t for Ange, I wouldn’t have even passed!” The red-head latched himself to his sister. She retaliated by hitting him with her book.

“I’m trying to read here.”

Kyrie had taken off her apron and folded it over a chair, walking over to the lively group. “What’s all this about? Battler finally got some good grades?”

“Only because I forced him to take tutoring,” Ange quipped.

“That’s right!” Battler grinned alongside Ange, who had settled for hugging her arm.

“That’s great, we should go celebrate! There’s this nice new club that opened up recently…” Rudolph leered. However, he didn’t see Kyrie’s shining eyes staring daggers at him from behind, and was thus dragged back into the kitchen where yelling could be heard.

Once they were gone, Ange turned to her brother with a mischievous grin carved onto her face. “So… How was the tutoring with Mr. Ronove?”

Battler grimaced. She was up to something. “Fine, why do you ask?”

“Oh no reason, just wondered if he treated you gently,” She snickered. Before Battler could interject, she poked his cheek and continued, “It was your first time, right? Doing something like that?”

Battler flushed, not sure where she was going with this. “Uh, going to tutoring? I guess…” He moved back onto the couch. He seized the TV control and started flipping through the channels. Ange only laughed. “What?!”

“Nothing,” She went back to reading her book, grinning smugly.


End file.
